i was born as lydia grace. my parents found my name in the bible. they often remind me that lydia was the seller of purple and prayed to god to receive grace. i've struggled with self-identity, spirituality, and sexuality for a long time. when i was twelve i came to the conclusion that i was attracted to girls, but fear of rejection forced me to hold onto the idea that i might still like boys. it also pushed me to keep my sexuality a secret. i've never been good at holding emotion in. trying to contain myself within myself was almost too much for me. i struggled to survive middle school. it was a dark time.

i'm what you call a "textbook cancer." emotion is not just a part of me, it is the very thing that moves through my veins. i think because of this i concentrate on memories, but not full blocks of time. most of my memories are like snapshots. sometimes i may not be able to picture the face of the person that i'm remembering, but the emotion attached to them is as clear this moment. emotion is what inspires me, moves me through life.

when i was in high school i finally told my parents that i was a lesbian, but not because i wanted to. a book i had borrowed accidentally slipped out of my bag and i hadn't noticed. but my mother did. it felt good to have the weight of my secret off my shoulders, but the air in the household was less than pleasant. the relationship with my mother has never been the same. i think she blames herself, which i wish she wouldn't do. there's no one to blame, this is just how my soul is made up.

i started to attend a group in memphis called MAGY (memphis area gay youth). the people i met, the advice i received, the experiences i had while attending MAGY helped me to accept the cards that i had been dealt. since then i've been interested in gender identity and sexuality. i've really just begun to explore these avenues.

there is so much from my past that i have yet to confront. i've started to take the steps, but there's only so many i can make at a time. all of this is interwoven with emotion and memory, two subjects i will continue to explore with my art for as long as i can.

i'm sure this part of my page will change often. my life isn't over yet and changes with the tides. i'll add onto my biography as it comes along.